Really, I Don’t Know Any Better

Often, I see people disgusted with the horrid behavior of little kids. Let’s face it, kids are going to misbehave and make mistakes. That is after all how they learn. 

I  find myself more often disgusted with the behavior of parents, myself included. I can’t bring myself to get over the bad behavior of Parents and move away.                                      I have picked up a kid right out  

DSC_0362 of the cart of  a parent  who was taking swings  and throwing F-bombs more than once, more than twice.. Ok, enough to know that one day I will probably be shot by one of these “parents.” But seriously,  If I child learns a behavior or a misbehavior it is really our fault as parents is it not?  It isn’t the fault of a 5 year old that no one ever taught them how to behave.

Now there are stubborn kids, yes I have a few, but there are also kids who are not being checked at all . Kids who walk all over their parents and siblings alike and you see it. Out in public, running around like little natives in a totally politically incorrect 1960′s movie they are screaming,  dancing,  throwing and practicing almost perfect defiance.  This is how they learn to cope, to get through and get their way. Because when you are born, all you know is you are hungry and need to get your way. When you are one all you know is you have wet pants and need to get your way. You learn to survive by “getting your way.” Then you see the parent who has no idea how to relate to their own child or what they need or how to cope trying an obviously never tested tactic to curb  said behavior. It is a circus.

Now, I include myself in this because I too have been a victim of some new over the top behavior and haven’t known what to do therefore making a mean face and throwing an idol threat or two only to give a minute of peace to  reestablish in my own brain that Mom needs a time out to assess how I have been paying attention to the needs of these kids and why they got one over on me…again. If I have to ask myself, “who is this child,” I have simply not been paying enough attention. I do, however get that  swings and F-bombs don’t help so If you ever see me at the store crashing carts and screaming,  know I welcome your help.

For me the head to head with a kid usually happens in public  because a kid knows that if they don’t want to be there the best way to leave is to make Mom take a leap off into crazy-ville. Trust me people it is a short leap.   

What I am saying is that kids get a bad rep. Don’t glare a at misguided kid. You are welcome to shoot eye daggers at a terrible parent. Oh, I need to take that back… Let’s say it this way,  though you may want to shoot eye daggers at a parent and give the don’t-you-dare-stare to a kid remember that it is very likely neither of them has been taught any better, yes even in adult hood. If this is how they grew up and this is what still surrounds them, they can’t see that it is toxic.  And if our example to them is just to be mean and display anger at the sight of them in our store or restaurant or our space in anyway shape or form, we are not helping. 

Along with picking up a few kids, I have befriended some arm-yankers-of – the -world , exchanged phone numbers and have even become  facebook friends with a screaming mom or two right in the middle of the store. Sometimes someone gets more out of you asking if they need help than they could ever gain by you yelling at and behaving toward them the same way you would shame them for behaving toward their child. There are moments when  you just have to look at the sweet little  dirty face of the screaming kid and imagine them saying, “really, I don’t know any better.” Give them grace and give them a hand.

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