It isn’t easy just being mom. Seem like the understatement of the century? I think it just might be.
Having put up with the overly intelligent people who shove down my little throat, their opinions on the subject, I have decided it is time my throat (or in this case my fingers typing) spew back an opinion or two of my own.
Sure blogs are a dime a dozen these days. Sure I shoulda coulda woulda done this a long time ago, but I have been busy, Just being Mom!
Let me explain:
I am a terrible friend. I don’t do GNO or Me time. I don’t lay aside my kids events to make it to your tea. I don’t hand my kids off to someone else so I can sit with other adults and I don’t chit chat with the gals while my babies run amuck. No, I don’t claim to be the ever present super woman to my kids. I am a struggling woman trying to help lead them, but they do come before a text conversation that could last three days and if one creeps in and hinders what I need to do here, I have to nip it in the bud. Yes, I am a terrible friend. I have been busy just being mom.
I am a terrible woman. I don’t get a mani/pedi every two weeks or even every two years for that matter. I don’t get my hair cut and colored on pamper day, in fact I do it in bathroom over the sink or in the shower myself , and haven’t even seen the back of it in…. I can’t even remember how long. I don’t cry when my husband forgets my birthday, and I don’t expect to be showered (or even dripped upon) with gifts or even A gift on holidays, real or invented. My favorite restaurant is not one with romantic lighting or a grown up menu. It is one where I can sit close enough to the highchair to be able to catch a kid climbing out the side of it. If I don’t fit in with the girls because I don’t follow the hand book, that’s ok with me, I would much rather just be mom.
I am a terrible all around person because if I think you are poorly influencing or in some way could harm, or are even a tiny bit of a threat to the well-being of my children or my family in general, I won’t be your buddy, or bring my kids to see you, leave them with you, let you be in charge of them or teach them, or even associate with them in anyway no matter who you are. Your position in life does not trump my judgment just as your opinion of what kind of mom I am does not change that this is my prerogative, because I am just being a mom.
All of these things I have been told are true. I have also been told that I am not what so many people expect me to be. I am so much less. I don’t have a career doing the things I was expected to do. I am not being the person they think, thank, thunk, I should be. I am not living up to my potential. I am just being mom.
You know what? I am about to tell you all about why you are wrong if you think any of that is true. If you will tend to disagree and are not prepared to be angry with what I have to say, then walk away. I won’t argue. I don’t have to do that. I won’t waste my kid’s time. Oh yes, I said that. It is my kids’ time, and I won’t waste it. I will however make this a place to let the idea of just being mom be right. I will take the time when they are snuggled up asleep or having free time to push forward the idea that just being a mom is beautiful , no matter how much oatmeal you have smeared across your shirt.
I cannot tell you how many women I know who have been shamed into doing work other than that of just being mom, but I can tell you so many, so many people have tried to override my mother hood, even my ovaries with their ideas of what and who I should be, with how many kids they think I should or should not have, or with whom my family should bond or associate thus trying to shame me for the decisions I have made. I can tell you that I will let out all the little and not so little responses I wish I had been brave enough to utter or just utter more loudly so the whole room could have heard in response to said shaming attempts.
Oh and I feel I should just put this out there up front-
Every post, every picture, everything will revolve around just being mom, because that is my life. And any and everything in my life is looked at through mommy glasses. My triumphs and shortcomings and the simple every days, will all be a part of it.
Remember, this mom is allowed to have an opinion and I will have my opinion all over this site. I will also mention you are allowed not to read it, if you wouldn’t like. So if in my brief summation about what and to whom this will relate I have offended you, please remeber you don’t have to look at it.
Think about it. You can come back and read my next post, or you can close this window and never look through it again.
Until then, I am off to do my job, as I am sincerely,
Becky Gaffney, Mother of 7 who is always
Just Being Mom